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Wednesday 17 August 2011

Bagoong

They sat on benches made of bamboo slats, their feet dangling over the dark, tepid water. The table, also of bamboo, held their empty bowls, spoons and forks and crumpled napkins.

"Throw your leftovers into the pond," he said to her.

"What’"

"Yes, that’s the basurahan. The fish eat it."

"Won’t the owners get mad?"

"No, that’s how it’s done here."

"Oh,ok." she  threw out the noodles and grizzle from the stewed beef soup they had for lunch.

"So, how do you like it here?"

"Hmm, different, nice breeze."

"I thought you’d like it."

She smiled.

"I’m number 7 of 13 children. My father is a jeepney driver and my mother washes clothes for other people. We all wore hand-me-downs and when it was the start of school, all we had for meals was rice and bagoong for a whole month."

"You mean rice and fermented fish for all meals?"

"Yes. I don’t come from your world. You probably have meat and fish every day."

She nodded, hearing her own complaints to the cook, "Can we have something other than adobo? This pork chop is too tough."

"Did you like the balut I sent you through Pepe?"

"Yes, thanks." She had laughed when Pepe had given her the boiled fertilized duck eggs. He had given her 6 eggs over the week, 2 on Monday, 2 on Wednesday and  2 on Friday. He sent them through Pepe, her good friend, fearing she would refuse if he had brought them to her.

She had found it amusing, laughed at his attentions with her roommates and ate the balut with gusto. She had not given the gift another thought.

How much bagoong could he have bought with the price of the balut?

Tuesday 16 August 2011

From 2 to 15

My husband and I walk behind the COOP supermarket to the little park where I used to take our son almost every day since he was a baby.

"That’s a fish pond. See the goldfish swimming?" Only now you can’t see the pond. The owner put a wooden fence around it.

"Look at the roses, darling. They’re yellow and Mmmm, they smell good." There are fewer blooms.

"Be careful on the carousel." It has disappeared. Too many spills and tears,and probably too many complaints.

"Ssshhh or the squirrel won’t show up." The tree is still there but my husband and I don’t wait nor are we still.

We walk towards the big park. I liked that route because you got 2 parks in one. The Chinese in me.

A short half-block and we go down a slope. I link my arm into Olivier’s.

I see Samuel at 4, his head turning, his finger pointing at the wading pool, his little face looking up at me, a big smile. Sun shining, kids shouting, water splashing, pool painted blue.  Smell of suntan lotion, barbecued sausages, grilled peppers .Only a few adults today and hardly any children. The pool is no longer blue but the cold gray of cement. They moved the swings; they hang forlorn and empty. The slide is a lonely silver hill in the sun. I hear only echoes of "Look at me, Mom!"

I see a mirror in the hallway of our home. Samuel hugs me. He’s 15, taller than me by a good 3 inches. He  looks at our reflection in the mirror. He smiles, hugs me,  "Ma petite maman."  I  rest my face against his shoulder, smell his perfume, feel his broad back against my fingers.

Flashes. Pictures. Memories, they’re called. Because they are past. Gone.

I press my husband’s arm.  He stops, looks at me, and holds me close.